Saturday, October 17, 2009

Women Love Vampires Because They Want to Have Sex With Gay Men


Quite recently an article came out in Esquire stating that the current successes of Twilight, True Blood and the Vampire Diaries owe thanks to women who are enamoured with the phenomeon because they want to have sex with gay men.

Stephen Marche argues that the nature of the vampires and the women who are attracted to them mirror the (often closeted) gay and his beard (cover up girlfriend who is hopelessly in love with him). Using Edward from Twilight as an example Marche states that:

“[Edward is] a sweet, screwed-up high school kid, and at the beginning of his relationship with Bella, she is attracted to him because he is strange, beautiful, and seemingly repulsed by her. This exact scenario happened several times in my high school between straight girls and gay guys who either hadn’t figured out they were gay or were still in the closet.”

These ideas do make sense, despite the arguments tending to be slightly left field. But when you think about it, these vampire "studs" are fairly unattainable, they represent a different type of man who is different to the rest, and in the case of Edward especially, there is an effeminite quality to not only his demeanour, but his physical appearance too.

Some food for thought.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The Twilight Effect

This has happened to me a few times now. I've been with a girl listening to music, having a chat about this and that, and then suddenly the Iron and Wine song "Flightless Bird, American Mouth" comes on. I've loved this song for yonks, since Samuel Beam (or Iron and Wine as he is more commonly known as) released his The Shepherd's Dog in 2007.

The song becomes recognised by the girl, to which she immediately pipes up with "Oh, I love this song" and starts singing the strange lyrics (Eg: "Now I'm a fat house cat/Cursing my sore blunt tongue") to utter and sheer whimsical delight. Then I pipe up saying "I love this album", the girl becomes slightly bewildered and yet extremely exhilarated and excitedly says "You love the Twilight Soundtrack?!?!" *Crazy fun times end in devasted boy (me) being lost in disappointment.



This situation has happened to me more than once, and that's no exaggeration. In truth, when I be fair to ethical ideals journalism and all that hoo-har, I should not omit that I started liking Iron and Wine from its inclusion on the soundtrack of the 2004 film In Good Company. So there, I've declared potential hypocrisy. But, to be fair, the song "Trapeze Swinger" was only released through the soundtrack.



However, when considering the effects of the Twilight soundtracks on the music industry, popular culture and the public sphere, this hypocrisy can be over looked. Massive indie/punk artists beyond Iron and Wine, such as Muse, Paramore and now Death Cab for Cutie have lost their underground (yet still massive underground) status and now are subjected to pop/rock star status and thus loved by the masses of tweeny-bopper Twilight saga lovers. Sadly, this mass love has led to my slow, dwindling vocal public declaration of such love for these artists. In laments terms, Twilight is destroying my love for music!!! Maybe that's an extreme statement, and one swimming in hyperbole, but it's engrained in truth!

My fear comes armed with feelings of woe and despair with the idea that my beloved Death Cab and other casualties may experience such a significant rise in popularity that they will no longer play in the uber cool venues where you can actually see their face. From this point on they will play in arenas or other similar venues where they become simply a speck of dust on a stage thousands of seats away. Just think of Kings of Leon. Just a few short years ago, they weren't selling out arenas. They weren't even playing arenas. But as the cruel tragic devil of popularity claims life after life, we see these amazing musicans that we idolise, literally move further and further away from us.

So with this on board, I had a look at the listing for the New Moon soundtrack, and I admitedly jizzed in my pants. I mean you've got Death Cab, Muse, Bon Iver with St. Vincent, Thom Yorke, Grizzly Bear and Black Rebel Motorcycle Club. Triple Jizz!!!! And then comes the realisation that your 13 year old cousin will soon be bouncing her empty head along to these masters. And that's when the doves cry. Cue Prince.

I Kissed a Girl Gets Covered by Folk Star

While enjoying beyond current zeitgeist pop sensation wonderment, Katy Perry can now add another title to her resume: a covered artist.

Much like when Bowling for Soup covered Britney Spears’ “Baby, One More Time” in 2003, Perry’s pop-a-di-da tunes have been recently covered by not one artist, but two. First Jordin Sparks released an acoustic cover of number one hit “Hot N Cold” showing nothing that much out of the unusual.

A more recent cover, diverting from his own genre of choice, is folk-indie artist William Fitzsimmons (fresh off his re released 2008 album The Sparrow and the Crow) has brought his own musical stylings to Perry’s number one international controversial “I Kissed a Girl”.

The strange choice of coverings can often lead to many interesting questions. While Mr. Fitzsimmons choices may be questionable, he nonetheless sounds pretty good, if not fairly stoned. It is often the strange choice of covers that can bring an artist back to life. Let us not forget the best cover ever made….Johnny Cash’s “Hurt”.

If you think I’m right, wrong, or totally misguided, then drop a line in that ol’ comment box and let us know what you think the best and/or worst covers are.

Click here to listen to Fitzsimmon's cover