Pre-emptive reviews are back!!

As some of you may know, I often will write a few sentence reviews on films that are screening currently that I either have seen, want to see, or want to avoid and hate like the plague. So here it comes again!

AMERICAN TEEN Okay, I've never heard of this. Got no fudging idea what its about, but the title almost puts me off. The synopsis that hoyts.com.au gives us is "A documentary on seniors at a high school in a small Indiana town and their various cliques." Gee, that sounds like every fucking teenage aimed film under the earth. NEXT!

BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA The catchy little song on the ads hooked me in for about 3 seconds. Interest gone.

BODY OF LIES Fuck yeah! Ridley Scott, Leonardo, Russ. I kinda cream myself here. I have no idea why I haven't seen this yet. Maybe it's because I've been a hermit living in an iso-tank?

BRIDESHEAD REVISITED Maybe the only reason why I would see this would be for Emma Thompson. And thats still a maybe!

BURN AFTER READING Give me time and I will give this justice. Just one more week!

CENTRE STAGE 2 As if.

CHOKE Okay. I may be more excited about this one than Burn After Reading and Body of Lies put together, for many, many reasons. The main being Angelica Huston. She is a goddess and I bow down to her, my queen of all things shiny.

DEATH RACE Am I the only person on the face of the planet who couldn't give a flying fuck about Jason Stratham? The one public sex scene in Crank was about all I could take.

DISASTER MOVIE Scary Movie 2 was about the last funny one of these parody movies. And even that's pushing it. Wanna see real parody? Hire some Mel Brooks films. And Flying High. True genius!

THE DUCHESS Does Sofia Coppolla's Marie Antoinette ring a bell? Not that I've seen this, but perhaps I'd go for the sex scene that it promises. Thats all.

DYING BREED Heard good things about this little Aussie horror film.

EAGLE EYE I think the synopsis says it all: "A young slacker returns home when his overachieving twin brother dies mysteriously. Both he and a single mother find they have been framed as terrorists. Forced to become members of a cell that has plans to carry out a political assassination, they must work together to extricate themselves." Yeah, I think not...

HOUSE BUNNY I've actually heard that Anna Faris isn't too bad in it. But thats about it....

HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND ALIENATE PEOPLE There are so many things that should make this look appealing. But alas, I do not wish to get closer. I dunno...

IN BRUGES So far the only thing I've heard about this film is that Colin Farrell is not his usual crap self. Well, after seeing A Home at the End of the World, I don't know if I can go near him ever again. Actually, Miami Vice was far worse!

JOURNEY TO THE CENTRE OF THE EARTH Remember that time when Brendan Fraser was cool? No? Well, there was a small window. I mean he was George of the Jungle! But now....

MAX PAYNE Nah. And it's now that I realise that I don't want to see the majority of these films. HAHAHAHA

MIRRORS It looks like a nice little shitty thriller. Like Shutter. That was a nice little shitty thriller.

MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR From what I heard, this should have been a straight to DVD release. And that is probably where I will view it.

MY BEST FRIEND'S GIRL Hmmm....maybe a drunken guilty pleasure film? I mean, it has Alec Baldwin. Alec Baldwin! He has such a close proximity to Tina Fey right now! TINA FEY I TELLS YA!!!!!

NIGHTS IN RODANTHE Now, how in the hell do you say this title? Every time I see it all I can think of is rhododendron. Therefore this film to me is called Nights in Rhododendron. Thats catchy!

ROCKNROLLA Now, I do deserve to be shot for this, but I have yet to experience a Guy Ritchie film. I know, shoot me know. One day soon the cherry will be popped!

SAW 5 Shit that was fast. Once again, I have catching up to do....

SEX DRIVE Well, it's a catchy title for me, but I naturally know that there will not be anywhere near the amount of sex that this film should require. Therefore. BUHLUHHHHH (Rasberry sounds)

STEP BROTHERS Maybe, but Will Ferrell is starting to loose his edge. At least this one isn't another sport themed one. And John C. Reilly is cool!

WALL-E So fudgingly cute! But as discussed with a fellow cinema buff, it has a little agenda. But nothing wrong with that. WALLLLL-EEEEEE! A must see.

WILD CHILD Julia Robert's niece. That's all.

THE WOMEN Another "why would you do this?" I'm a big fan of Annette Bening and pre fucked up nose Meg Ryan (yes, I even liked In the Cut) but no. You don't do this. See the original. Yes. Yes. Yes.